All the Updates that You can Handle!

Sorry for the lack of updates but Blogger has been down for the last few days making it impossible to add any new content. But thankfully it's back up and what was not blogged about can now be written!

First of all, congrats to all we are now at $4005! Great job you guys!
Second of all here is the list of events that are soon to come.

From Amira Shaif

Have you ever wanted to help loved ones understand what you're going through with IBD, but not quite sure how to do it? Need a night out with friends? Want to help CCFA and Take Steps spread the word about an awesome fundraiser? Ben has suffered from Crohn's Disease for many years and has created the perfect performance. Although we know there is nothing "funny" about having IBD Ben shares his story with humor and gives the audience the opportunity to laugh along with him as he discusses what is sometimes considered the "un-discussable"....
PAIN IN THE BUTT - Benefiting CCFA LA Take Steps
Don't just join us, but tell your friends to come too!

http://online.ccfa.org/site/MessageViewer?em_id=82664.0&dlv_id=85385
Hollywood Improv
8162 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90046
Thursday 05/19/2011
6PM Dinner & Silent Auction, 8PM Comedy Show
Tickets ae $25

REGISTER TODAY
For this FREE Teleconference/Webcast
This educational event will help patients, caregivers, and pediatricians understand the unique medical and psychosocial needs of children with CD and the importance of continual care. Pediatric gastroenterologist Dr. Sandra Kim and clinical social worker Janis Arnold will discuss:

Important differences between pediatric and adult Crohn's disease
The medical management of pediatric CD
The critical role of nutrition
Growth and development of the pediatric Crohn's patient
Quality of life and support systems


Thursday, May 19, 2011

8:00 PM to 9:15 PM Eastern Time
7:00 PM to 8:15 PM Central Time
6:00 PM to 7:15 PM Mountain Time
5:00 PM to 6:15 PM Pacific Time

First Annual Digestive Health and Wellness Expo - Orange County

Join us on May 21st from 1:00pm to 4:00pm

to learn new ways to facilitate total mind and body wellness.
Expo with be held at In Motion OC
17332 Von Karman Ave Suite 120
Irvine, CA 92614

Come and speak with doctors one on one, acupuncturists, Pilates instructors, yoga instructors, and many more.

We are excited to announce that The Bite Market, a gluten free market, will be at the expo with baked goods samples. Along with Bari Rooney, an IBD nutritionist.
For more information or if you would like a booth
contact Joslynn at jbroun@ccfa.org or 646-717-6208

AND DARRIN HAS OFFERED TO DRIVE!!!

Yard Sale Update

As you may have all heard from Allison the total we raised from the yard sale came to $505! Which raises our total to $3870! We are almost to our goal and we still have more than enough time to reach it and even surpass it. Please thank Allison and Chuck for hosting the yard sale as well as all of you who could help out as well as all of you great people that donated stuff for the yard sale, we could have never done it without you!

CCFA Comedy event at the Hollywood Improv

Hey guys!

This is an official CCFA LA event but I think that anytime that we can support the CCFA and can attend any of their events we should, especially one that provides hours of laughter and entertainment to give us better perspective about our own personal struggles with IBDs.

Ben Morrison performing at the Hollywood Improv.

What: Pain in the Butt (A comedy show about Crohns)
Where: Hollywood Improv
8162 Melrose Ave Los Angeles, CA 90046
When: 5/19 8pm
Cost: $25 for the show--proceeds go to the CCFA
purchase here: laughstub.com

Details:

Pain in the Butt is comedian Ben Morrison’s critically-acclaimed show about the lighter side of Crohn’s Disease.

Chronicling Morrison’s journey from akward high-school-student to awkward high-school-student with a poop disease, Pain in the Butt is the funniest show about severe intestinal disorder, ever. Performed with live multimedia and photography Pain in the Butt is lovingly told with Morrison’s signature belend of stand-up and storytelling. With a comedian’s eye and a patient’s behind Pain in the Butt is a touching tale about a touchy tail.

Having been staged all over the world during it’s amazing 8-year run Pain in the Butt is the the countries premiere theatrical experience about laughing through illness. Don’t miss this one-of-a-kind experience.

Pain in the Butt.

It’s funny, on the insides.

Just in Time for the Playoffs!

That's right as most of us have probably not noticed the Stanley Cup Playoffs for that barely heard of and even less understood sport from our cousins upstairs, Hockey, are in full swing. Chicago Blackhawks right winger is one such player that will be participating in them. He is also one of many that suffer the effects of ulcerative colitis. I found his PSA spot for LIVINGwithUC.com a helpful site from which I may borrow material from. Feel free to visit the site and remember that you are not alone in your battle with IBD. Be sure to take in a hockey game this post-season and Enjoy!

The Kick Off Events

Both the Los Angeles County and Orange County Kick Off events were fun and wonderful events that provided fun, entertainment and food for all that came. I won't say which event was better as both were fabulous and I was able to talk to many CCFA staff members, volunteers and also fellow IBD sufferers who were more than happy to talk about their experiences battling their respective illness. I had a good time at both events whether people watching at the Santa Monica Pier and enjoying the crisp, cool ocean breeze, or doing the same at Disneyland while dodging strollers. I recommend that everyone should go to one of these events or any other event for that matter if only to see that not only are you not alone in your struggles but that there are people out there that genuinely care about your health and state of being.

That said it was great to see Nelson, Jacklyn and Paula at the OC event and I was sorry to hear that Darrin couldn't attend. Regardless of that we were able to survive without our fearless leader. As for our current fundraising efforts, we are at $1760 with 77 days to go which means that so far we have achieved 35% of our goal. Congratulations you guys and I am more than confident that we can not only achieve our goal but surpass it as well.

Upcoming Comedy Event for Take Steps LA

Our CCFA Cousins in L.A. are throwing a comedy event together that is guaranteed to be a night full of laughter, fun and enjoyment. If you are free that night please consider buying tickets in order to not only support them but so that they too can return the favor when we start promoting our own events. You can buy tickets for a slightly discounted price, all relevant contact and event information are below.

From the CCFA:
Thursday, May 19, 2011, 8 PM
HOLLYWOOD IMPROV
8162 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90046

Take Steps Los Angeles will be hosting a hilarious night out, featuring Ben Morrison, a comedian unlike any performer you've ever seen. $25 per person and a $5 discount if you buy at the Take Steps Kick-off event. Email ashaif@ccfa.org for tickets. Proceeds benefit the Take Steps Walk Campaign for a Cure.

Just Some Quick Updates

First of all the updated totals for the Poo Crew is currently at $1710.00. Congratulations as we get closer and closer to this year's goal. I also want to acknowledge Nelson and his lovely wife who have helped raise $667.00 for the Crew not counting the ink cartridges and cell phones that they also donated. Please send them an e-mail or congratulate them at the next support group meeting. So once again, Thank you Nelson and Teresa!

As for other things. This weekend will be a rather busy one as the L.A. County and Orange County Take Step Kick Off events take place. I will be attending both as I will be manning the 20s-30s Social Group's table at the Santa Monica Pier come Saturday so please feel free to stop on by and say hello. And then I will be attending the Sunday Kick Off event at Downtown Disney where I will later infiltrate the Magic Kingdom with a select number of others to see if it truly is a small world after all. Please attend if you can, bring your friends and family and show them what the CCFA and Take Steps is all about!

From the CCFA:

Los Angeles Kickoff Event

April 9, 2011, 6 PM - 8 PM, Santa Monica Pier, at the Carousel

THIS SATURDAY April 9, 2011, 6 PM - 8 PM, Santa Monica Pier, at the Carousel!
Come out to the Santa Monica Pier and join us for the Los Angeles Take Steps Kickoff! Bring your family, friends, coworkers and teammates and enjoy ice cream sundaes, carousel rides and mingling with your fellow walkers!! Please RSVP to ashaif@ccfa.org or (310) 478-4513

Orange County Kickoff Event

Sunday, April 10th from 11 AM - 1 PM, the ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney

Come join us on April 10th at the ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney to celebrate a new season of Take Steps. Bring your friends and family to come and learn how we can hit Take Steps 2011 Orange County out of the park! For more information or to RSVP contact Joslynn at jbroun@ccfa.org or (646) 717-6208.

To Poo or Not to Poo...

All of us eventually run into experience the wonderful feeling of having to go to the bathroom while being away from the safety of our own porcelain throne. It's at times like this that we must make the quick decision of where to go to heed the call of nature. This can vary depending on if you are out shopping versus if you are at a concert or even in the great outdoors. Regardless of location the situation is the same. You need to poo and you need to poo soon. And so for your mild entertainment I provide you with the where to poo and where not to poo list for the many different situations that you might find yourself in.

1. The supermarket/grocery store/most farmer's markets:
Most if not all of these establishments have an accessible bathroom that is often clean and well maintained due to the large volume of people that they tend to experience on a day to day basis. This may not apply to smaller stores but the management in those is often more than willing to accommodate you lest they want to start an E.coli colony in their produce section.

2. At church/church function/ funeral/ wedding/baptism, etc.:
God will understand if you have to miss part of any of these events due to the urgency to poo. And if not then he's a bastard because he's the one that stuck you with the urgency in the first place. Make sure to tell that to anyone that questions your need to leave halfway through the pastor's sermon.

3. A restaurant:
With the exception of taco stands, lunch trucks and Subway most of not all restaurants will have a restroom. In case you have to go and they inform you that only paying customers can use the restroom then drop a dollar bill on the counter, tell them that it's for a cup or bottle of water and grab the key. I actually did this once while looking at stars in Hollywood. The lady was nice and looking at the number of weirdos, tourists and homeless super heroes in the area I don't blame her.

4. Camping:
Does a bear...? You know the answer and the extended answer is that they sell awesomely portable toilets online and in camping/sporting goods stores ranging in price from $18 clear up to a couple hundred depending on its look, portability and waste storage and disposal features. I recommend buying one if you have the chance, you never know when you will need one.

5. School:
There are laws on your side regarding this for public K-12. You can talk to your professor as well as the disabled students services on most if not all Jr/Community colleges as well as full time universities if there is an issue with you leaving to go use the bathroom.

6. At a concert:
If an outdoor concert then use the portables, however as most concerts have more people than portables I recommend training your body to go at the point when there is less traffic at the portable, namely just as the concert is starting. Eat light so that you minimize how many times you go, or get a doctor's note and take your own toilet and stall.
If an outdoor concert then the same applies, since smoking is not allowed indoors in California most people will enter and leave in order to take care of this need and as long as you have your ticket an wristband you should be fine to do the same. If this is not possible talk to the security guy and let him know what is going on and see if he cuts you a break.

7.At a sporting event:
Plenty of bathrooms, and hell most people are so smashed by the end of the game that they probably won't notice if you have an accident.

8. While driving:
Pull over, drop trou, go. But using a camping toilet is probably a bit more hygienic and comfortable.

9. On a flight:
Get an aisle seat and talk to the flight attendants to let them know that you may have the need to use the bathroom more often than not. They may allow you to use the first class bathroom, the staff bathroom and possibly even go when no one is allowed to leave their seat.

10: At a hospital:
I know that this shouldn't be a problem but I am putting this here because of a personal experience. My grandmother spent her last days at St. Vincent's in Los Angeles and one day that I went to visit her I had the sudden urge to evacuate. The men's bathroom was nearby but was unfortunately closed due to repairs, the nearest bathroom was on the second floor. Sensing a rapidly approaching emergency I ran into the woman's bathroom, went inside the corner stall and did what I had to do. However just as I finished two women walked into the bathroom forcing me to stay there for a slightly longer period of time than I would have liked. Thankfully after they left no one else entered and I was able to egress with as minimal embarrassment as possible.

Which brings me to my next point. Ladies don't be afraid to use a men's bathroom, most men will give you a quick look, shrug, give a grunt and finish their business, men I don't recommend you go use a woman's bathroom unless you have a spotter and permission. Sorry those are the rules I don't write them.

Lastly here is my checklist for things to carry in your car if possible.

Overnight bag with a change of clothing and extra medications.
A toothbrush, not for brushing your teeth but for brushing "stuff" that may be stuck on a public toilet.
An extra roll of toilet paper as well as travel toilet paper.
Hand sanitizer and/or alcohol wipes.
Latex or latex free disposable gloves.
A travel or camping toilet.
Paper towels, cloth towels or mechanic rags.
A gallon of water, not for drinking purposes.
A can of deodorant or air freshener.

Los Angeles County Take Steps Kick Off Event Party

I know that most of you live closer to the OC than to LA at least in terms of where most of the events are located at but I encourage any and all of you that can attend the L.A. kick off event to go in order to support your fellow brothers and sisters in toilet and above all, have a great time!

You can also look them up on Facebook by clicking here.

Click picture to enlarge.

Update for Orange County Take Steps Kick Off Party

Ladies and Gentlemen here is the update for the 2011 Orange County Take Steps Kick Off Party.

It will be held at the ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney where we have the privilege of having use of the restaurant portion of the fine establishment. So there will be food! Drinks! And more importantly BIG SCREEN TVs!

It is located at 1545 Disneyland Drive at 11:00 am to 1:00 pm. Bring your friends! Bring your loved ones! Leave the pets at home!

We will be provided with beef sliders, chicken tenders, chicken wings, chips and dip and some veggies, so if you can't eat them then bring a sack lunch! Just kidding, let me know and I'll sneak into California Adventure and will grab you a turkey leg.

Remember to RSVP by April 6th with the lovely Joslynn at jbroun@ccra.org or at 646-717-6208. And don't forget to register for the walk at www.cctakesteps.org/orangecounty

You knew it was coming.... "C. Diff.:" A Tik Tok Parody

I think that this song is only marginally better than the original. As catchy as it may be I doubt it will ever make the Top 40.

Don't forget to bring your ink cartridges and used cellphones to tomorrow's support group meeting!!!

Coping With Illness

We all cope with illness in different ways. How you cope can vary based on your current health condition as well as on what stage of grief and mourning scale you are one. This scale primarily goes in this order, denial/isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Some people get stuck on one stage longer than others while others may experience the stages in different order. Regardless we all go through them in one way or another. In many of our cases we go through this twice, at least for those with Colitis we go through it when we learn of our disease and then when we must make the painful decision to have our colon removed.

I have yet to experience the second run at the mourning scale but I am confidant that when the time comes I will be ready and prepared as I cope with stress and illness through my own style of humor. I write as a coping mechanism and I enjoy dark, twisted, snarkastic humor which in many ways allows me to see the brighter side of things even when there appears to be no hope, and in a strange way the Prednisone induced mania helps a bit (I know, I know). And if anything blogging on this site has surely done wonders for my confidence and self esteem even if only two people, a Department of Homeland Security agent and three parakeets at an elderly home are the only ones listening.

But rather than going on and on about coping and grief and acceptance I found this video which in many way sums up the feelings that many of us have or will have in regards to our illness.

Bye bye bowel- by Randall McLaren Feat- Whitney Houston Ulcerative Colitis Piece Improv song - watch more funny videos

Poo song! Bonus Points: Colits and Poo Song! Triple Bonus Points: A Beatles Colitis Poo Song!

"Susy in the Loo with Diarrhee," by Susanna Viljanen; a parody of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by The Beatles

Picture yourself with your bottom on fire,
With knot on your gut and a pain in your eyes
Toilet now calls you, you get there so quickly
- A girl with colitis goes by.

You empty your bowel of yellow and green
Contents of metabolism -
Look at the mirror, it's pain in your eyes
And poo comes -

Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)
Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)
Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)

Ah... Ah...

Follow the symptoms of gastroent'ritis
Nausea with taste of vomit in mouth
Oligopeptides come trickling the taste-buds
They come up to harass and tout.

Loopaper reels are consumed oh so quickly
The stench is incredibly stark
Climb on the john with your rear end in fire
And it comes...

Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)
Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)
Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)

Ah... Ah...

Picture yourself with no carbohydrates
Reduction on lactose and no chocolate pies
Drink just warm water and antibiotics -
The girl with colitis goes by

Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)
Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)
Susy in the loo with diarrhee - (Diarrhee!)




Courtesy of

This weekend

This last Friday I attended a concert with friends and I am happy to say that not only was it fun but my body was amazingly cooperative. I admit that I apprehensive about going to the venue as it's often the case with me that the later the time of the day the frequency to go to the bathroom increases. The venue was scheduled to start at 8:30 pm and end sometime after midnight. It ended closer to 2 am.

However I had already bought the ticket and had already let my friends know that I was going to carpool with them since the venue was at the Troubadour in West Hollywood where parking is virtually non existent, and not being one to disappoint I decided to throw caution to the wind and go. After all I'm still young and it would do me no good to stay at home and then wonder about all the "what if's," so I went. I had a couple drinks (Jack and Coke, my go to drink) and enjoyed the music and atmosphere never really worrying about the possibility of having to use the restroom. That is not to say that I had not already mapped out the location of each and every single restroom but that was the furthest thing from my mind as there were better and much more interesting things to think about, the band for one and... well other things. Let's just say that blue hair was involved. But I digress.

Since my friends are really close friends with the headlining band we stuck around for an extra hour before heading out to Canter's Deli where at 3 in the morning I decided to pass on the pastrami, which although heavenly delicious was a bit too heavy for me, and went with a burger. I finally got back to Anaheim where I spent the night at around 4 in the morning and somewhere shortly after went to sleep, waking up by 8 with no difficulty nor feeling the pains and aches that I usually feel after a long night, which I suppose means that my body is getting healthier from where it was even a year ago and quite possibly thinking positively during the night helped as well.

I suppose that the moral of this story is to not be afraid and enjoy yourself. Be free of that fear that all of us experience when we are confronted with something that is outside our norm and simply go with it. Worst case scenario is that you crap you pants, best case scenario you leave with good and happy memories as well as new friendships and an experience well worth sacrificing your security net for the night. And yes I'm ready to do it all over again.

Update and More

We are currently at $865.00 with a bit over a hundred days left to go. Guys I know we can do this and are doing okay especially since the bulk of donations tend to come as we get closer to the event. And today being St. Patrick's Day I was involved in a Leprechaun hunt at work where I was enlisted to find the whereabouts of 24 missing Leprechauns that had escaped from the compound that they were held at and were being studied for since 1971.

And in celebration of St. Patrick's Day here are some Leprechaun jokes. They may or may not be poo related, it all depends on what the Internets give me.

Poop, Shut up and Manners from-Joke Buddha

One day a couple of kids named "Poop", "Shut-Up", and "Manners" were on a bus. All of a sudden Poop falls out of the window! Manners jumps out of the bus to save him.
So, Shut-Up runs to the bus driver to get some help. The bus driver asks him,
"What's your name?!"
"Shut-Up."
At this point the bus driver is mad. He asks, "Where are your manners?!"
Shut-Up replies,
"Outside picking up Poop."


Two lil Leprechauns...

Two lil leprechauns went off to St Mary's convent and begged an audience with the mother superior. "well, how can I help you little folk?" asked the Mother Superior.
The larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked "Well, mother superior, would you be a knowing any midget nuns here at the convent?"
"Afraid not," replies Mother Superior, "there are no midget nuns here"
"all right then, would you be knowing of any midget nuns in all of Ireland then?"
"Well, no," replied Mother Superior, "none that I know of."
"Well then, in the whole world of nuns, would you know of any Midget nuns?"
"No, I would'nt - there are no midget nuns in the whole of the world!" said Mother Superior, "and would you please tell me what this is all about?"
The asking leprechaun turned sadly to the stupid leprechaun and said "well, I told you so...you've been dating a Penguin."

The United Kingdom

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across an old Whiskey bottle and a Leprechaun pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Leprechaun.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Leprechaun's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish. The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity."

Again, with a blink of the Leprechaun's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Leprechaun explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."

They Told Me There Would Be No Math

An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. When the interview was over the interviewer told him that all applicants had to complete a test.
The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. "Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?" After thinking for a while the Irishman took the pencil and drew a canopy of leaves on top of the three pairs of lines, and handed the paper back to the interviewer.
The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: "But that is not nine!" "Oh yes it is", said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, "Tree + Tree + Tree make nine!"
The interviewer handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99. After thinking for a longer while the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: "But that is not ninety nine!" "Oh yes it is", said the Irishman, "Dirty tree + dirty tree + dirty tree make ninety nine." The interviewer was now a bit cheesed off so he decided to do the Irishman once and for all, therefore, he handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 100.
After thinking for a considerably longer time the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil and drew a little blop on the bottom right hand side of each three and handed the paper back to the interviewer. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: "But that is not 100!" "Oh yes it most certainly is", said the Irishman with a much broader Irish accent, "Dirty tree and a turd + dirty tree and turd + dirty tree and a turd make 100!!!!!"

Spring 2011 IBD Patient and Family Conference

Alright gang the Spring IBD conference is coming up in April. It will take place on Saturday April 16th from 8:15am to 2:15pm. You don't have to stay for the whole thing but it's always nice to see what varies authorities and peers have to say in regards to their own experiences or efforts in dealing with the various IBDs. Registration is $10.00 but they will not turn anyone away due to financial hardship.

The details:
Saturday, April 16, 2011
8:15am-2:15pm
UCLA Covel Commons
330 DeNeve Drive
Los Angeles, CA 90095


There are three ways to register:
Register online at http://la.ccfa.org.
By phone: (310) 478-4500
or my mail: CCFA Greater LA/OC Chapter
ATTN: Conference
1640 S.Sepulveda Blvd., Ste. 214
Los Angeles, CA 90025

I have included a scanned copy of the agenda please contact Darrin, myself or the CCFA or any of its representatives for more information if you are interested in attending. Thanks!

Click picture to enlarge.

They may have donuts!!!

Dating and IBD or Bad Dating Advice from Jorge (no not really)

Dating for most normal people is a difficult venture, for those with a chronic illness it can seem like an impossible task, but it's not as daunting as it may seem. First of all let me state that I am in no way an expert in dating, if anything I may be the last person to give advice based on experience since I am somewhere near 2 for 1000 which for those that like to keep track of that type of data is far, far from being impressive. However, I know how to research, I know how to observe and listen to the problems of others and I can put all that data together and come up with observations therefore these are those very observations. Feel free to message me or comment if you feel that I have left anything out or perhaps misrepresented something. Keep in mind that I am also approaching this primarily from a male point of view so things may be biased in that direction.

As I stated earlier, dating for normal people can be difficult and that is where I will start our story. In today's dating world you essentially have two options, real world dating or virtual dating, online dating sites having taken the place of video dating and personal ads in the paper. Both of these formats work rather different than one another, if anything they work almost opposite of the other, at least initially. In real world dating you meet someone, you get to know them and then progress from there. Sometimes it may be nothing more than a fling or a night of drunken debauchery, other times it may lead to a lifetime commitment. In virtual dating you often, as there are a couple of exceptions (online communities, chat rooms, etc) you often get to know about a person through the information on their posted profile and then decide if you want to progress forward to a real world meeting where you will verify if they really are what they claim to be.

It is at this stage where those such as us, those with chronic illnesses run into problems. You can be a brilliant writer, and absolute romanticist who know exactly what to write to win over the woman of your dreams, but if you neglect to mention that you have a tiny little problem then it can lead to major issues if they find out in the most unfortunate of ways. But what is one to do? After all you do have to eventually tell a potential partner that you have an illness, some may take it well, some may run away leaving you broken and depressed not knowing what to do. Let's focus on that.

First of all remember that the number one thing you have to have when you plan on dating is confidence. You will hear it everywhere from everyone and yes it is the most important thing. It's not money, it's not cars, it's not even a job or living on your own, simply put it's confidence and everything else falls in place. This applies to everyone, to every single living creature that can form a single cognitive thought in their brain. Confidence. Now I know that you are thinking "How the hell am I supposed to be confident if I can crap in my pants during the date?" Easy. Come to terms with that fact. It's that simple. Granted simple in this case isn't as easy as counting to three but once you own your illness, once you come to terms with it and are not letting it run your life then you can begin to start dating.

After all, if you can't fully accept yourself for who you are, with all your defects and imperfections, all your weaknesses and tribulations then you can't begin to work on perfecting your strengths to enhance yourself to make up for anything that you perceive as negative about you. Understand that a chronic illness is not only a physical illness but also a social one. It leads to introversion, to withdrawal from society, to depression or worse in some cases. But don't let it get that far. Taking time off from life to reflect and regroup, to understand what is going on with your body and essentially your self is always good. But don't stay there for too long or opportunities will pass you by and the what if's are far worse than the actual attempts and rejections that you may receive. It is here where the steps of grief and mourning come in useful. Learn them and use them as once you complete them all you will understand not only your illness, but yourself as well. You may ask, "but what am I mourning? What has died?" Exactly. That is exactly what you are mourning. Once you can answer those questions you will understand why it's important to mourn and move on.

1: Denial "It can't be true."
2: Anger "Why me? It's not fair!"
3. Bargaining "I promise you that if I get cured I will help feed the homeless!"
4: Depression "My life sucks, why should I care about anything, I have no future."
5: Acceptance "It's okay. There is light at the end of the tunnel. This too shall pass."

Once you accept your illness and accept yourself you are ready to date. The question that know remains is how? I suggest that if you choose to seek a potential partner in a real world setting then avoid bars and clubs and trendy places where people are out to pretty much just get laid. That is not to say that you shouldn't just seek pleasure for a night but do so only if you are confident and mentally healthy enough to handle it, otherwise your night may end with disappointment and ridicule. I do recommend the following places:
School, but be cautious.
Volunteer at events or for an organization that you have an interest in.
At a religious event, mass, church, temple, etc. But please be of that religion or have an interest in that faith, unless it's a multi denominational event then feel free to mingle.
Join a group that caters to a particular hobby or interest of yours.
Parks, libraries, coffee shops and bookstores only and only if you think you can pull it off. Otherwise let the people be as it may make you appear desperate.

Not recommended:
Work. For multiple reasons try to avoid.
Hospital. Yes we spend a lot of time there but that doesn't mean that it should be your prowling grounds, leave that up to the professionals AKA the elderly.
Mail Order Brides. Bad idea, trust me on this.

As for online dating the best I can say is to be yourself. Don't over-represent yourself but at the same time don't seem too demeaning to yourself. Have a friend of the opposite sex go over any potential profile in order to give you feedback. Illustrate your strengths, highlight your best features and give it a go. I would avoid mentioning any illness straight off the bat until you see how comfortable you two are together but you will have to give full disclosure at latest withing the first three dates. At the latest. Anything beyond that is pushing it. Above all don't fear rejection, some people are not as open minded as they claim to be and would run at the first sign of something that they perceive as being different. But don't worry, always let you partner know that you are not seeking a nurse but simply a companion after all you are and should be the best nurse for your body. And who knows eventually with enough practice, with enough rejections, and with enough trial and error you will get lucky and find that one person who likes you for who you are and for your qualities and perhaps be the beginning of something very, very special.

As for the actual date, let's cover that at a later date. First let's focus on the new you.

Jackie and her splendidly wonderful fundraiser idea.

As some of you may or may not know we are attempting to raise money for the Take Steps walk. As some of you may or may not know our very much loved and appreciated Jackie is in the hospital sad and depressed SO BE SURE TO SEND HER A GET WELL CARD! But more importantly she has an idea for a potential fundraiser. Did she ever tell you guys how she ended up in the hospital? No? Well this is how.

See shortly after the last time we saw her she decided to go on a pirate cruise, not so much for leisure but for business. See she was intent on raising funds for our little Poo Crew and discovered the whereabouts of Scratchy Poo's hidden treasure. And so she gathered a motley crew of deviants, misfits, and mimes and went off in search of this legendary and fabled treasure. And guess what? SHE FOUND IT! She loaded her ships and returned and took her clearly won bounty directly to the CCFA offices only to discover that they took neither Paypal nor pirate treasure. And so she had to come up with an alternative plan. And that's how she came up with her fundraising idea (click link). That's right she is going to sell and peddle and exchange her hard earned booty (not that one you pervs)for currency that the CCFA will gladly take in order to give kudos and accolades to our little Crew of Poo.

So please shoot her out feedback on if you would like to participate in this venture or possibly any other future ventures that she may have in sailing the seven seas and the oceans blue in search of lost and hidden treasure to further help our cause.

As for how she got sick? Well that's a tale for another time my friends.

Exercise, activity, staying busy and you.

No one can deny the virtues and benefits of exercise and why it's good for you. Unfortunately for most of us the social aspect of our illness makes us both unable to exercise as normal people would or even want to go out and perform any type of exercise due to the fear of having an accident somewhere along the way. However it doesn't have to be that way. Don't think of exercise for you as being the conventional exercise of walking around the block, running the track or going to the gym. After all social phobia is an unfortunate side effect of what we go through for many reasons, body image, fear of soiling yourself, embarrassment or a combination of those or other things. In cases such as those or in cases where anemia or other attributed ailments prevent you from venturing to far from the comfort and safety from home then you must take different steps to ensure that you too can get some exercise not only to strengthen the body but to help the healing process and to soothe both the mind and soul.

You can always buy exercise equipment but if you are like most people you will use it once and then discard it with the promise that you will use it again tomorrow which then after so many tomorrow turns to next year. You can also buy videos and video games as well but those also require a commitment and time set aside that you may or may not have, as well as in some cases, competing for use of the television from your kids or significant others.

Therefore what may be the best solution? Keep in mind that this is not about losing weight, about trying to look good in a speedo or even about training to run the L.A. Marathon. No we are attempting to create an exercise regiment in order to stimulate and enhance your body's healing processes, to keep your mind occupied and aware from the constant nagging thought that you might have to go to the bathroom and above all to keep you sane and to control you illness, to get independence from it and not let it control your life.

So then what do we do? Simple. Modify your daily activities to allow for some exercise within them. What does this mean? It means the following. If you are going to make mashed potatoes for dinner don't buy the pre-made ones but instead make your own. It takes longer but the process of mashing and whipping them will give you some exercise, it may give some soreness as well but the much improved taste of homemade mashed potatoes is so much more worth it. If you have dishes to wash then wash them by hand. Not only will they be free of the occasional washer crud but while you wash and dry them your mind is free to zone off and relax in a strange meditative stage.

Or if you are doing nothing more than watching television then whenever a commercial appears take the time to get up and stretch and walk to the kitchen, the other end of your house, apartment or studio. In all honesty it's irrelevant what you do and how you do it but what is important is that you do something other than simply do nothing. And once you are comfortable not simply sitting around and waiting for the urge to go to the restroom to arise then we can start talking about going outdoors and running the track or walking to the market or maybe even running the L.A. marathon.