Random Musing

As I don't want to exhaust my current list of jokes and videos related to all things poo and butts I have chosen to take this time to examine my food no-no's as I think I have recently discovered that a certain food that I enjoy appears to be a trigger and must be limited if not eliminated from my diet. So here it goes, Jorge's list of foods not to eat.

1. Broccoli, cabbage and other flatulence producing veggies: Yeah most of us know about avoiding these foods and although I can do without broccoli I really do or rather did enjoy eating cabbage in stews. Caldo we will miss thee.

2. Nuts: Once again to be avoided at all times, thankfully this only speaks for the nut in its normal, natural form. Paste or butter forms of it are rather okay, good thing because I have too many fond memories of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to simply let that wonder food go, plus I just discovered Nutella and prefer almond milk to all other milk varieties.

3. Milk: I was that kid that could drink a whole gallon milk in one seating, now either due to lactose intolerance, age, the UC or a combination of all of the above I must avoid it as well as most ice creams, some cheeses and certain other dairy products. Thankfully the alternatives are not as off putting now as they were when I was ma much younger lad. (Yes I used the word lad, in fact I think it should be used more often, as should dame.)

4. Carbonated drinks of all varieties: So long Coca Cola, so long Mr. Pibb, so long Mt. Dew and we will miss you Crystal Pepsi. Ah the number one choice for our obese youth and the must have refreshments at any sporting event (okay beer is the must have but you can't drink beer as a kid), but the pain of consuming you is far too great and the frequency of urgency is far to embarrassing to continue using you as refreshment.

5. Caffeine: Coffee and energy drinks to be more exact, teas I can tolerate a little bit better. I was never big on morning wake me up drinks but it's really funny and interesting to see how as a culture we are highly dependent on both coffee and energy drinks. I give all coffee drinkers a challenge out there, wake up at 4 in the morning and try to function until 10 in the evening without your coffee or energy drinks and tell me how it goes. Welcome to my world.

6. Chocolate and candy: Mainly dark chocolate or overly sweet chocolate, but it's okay in small dosages. A triple deluxe, sudden death by chocolate will make you poo cocoa flavored bricks cake on the other hand is completely off limits. Even the sight of it makes my bowels go "NO WAY JOSE!" Candy is just bad. I limit the amount I eat as it seems that the older I get the more sugar hates me.

7. Corn: One of the foods on the no no list for anyone with an IBD and not too hard to avoid but it's sad that when eating posole or menudo you must weigh the issue of whether or not you want to make it sound like the St. Valentine's Day massacre when you go use the restroom (Google it!).

8. Salads: I loved salads, in fact if I could eat a salad I would eat one daily for almost every meal, sadly salads don't love me and shouldn't be trusted as they are rather treasonous to my person. Thankfully salad's little cousin spinach does like me and helps to satisfy my "act like a rabbit for lunch" urges during the day.

9. Gravies and sauces: Any kind of gravy should be limited, and I admit I am bad at doing this since I love Italian foods and American style foods and Teriyaki and other all other wonderful taste bud stimulating culinary delights in existence, therefore I eat them in moderation and try to be careful what I eat them with in order to minimize the consequences.

10. Alcohol: Not a heavy drinker, hell I think I may have a beer every six months and a drink every eight so I'm good with that.

11. Exotic foods: Nope not gonna cut them out, unless they include something mentioned above that is a recognized trigger.

12. Fried foods: As a rule no one should eat them, realistically the only fried foods I eat are french fries and the occasional fried fish thing or other.

13. Beans: I used to love to eat beans. Sadly I can't eat them anymore. Even sadder because it's a cultural staple. Nonetheless I am willing to make the sacrifice.

14. Meat: Red meat to be exact. It seems as if red meat is not an immediate trigger that causes the urgency to use the restroom but instead one that causes further irritation and inflammation as well as bleeding of the colon. Therefore it is with great sadness that I must cut out red meat from my diet. I will still partake in the occasional breakfast sausage or even burger patty or two as ground beef is easier to digest but that will be it. So yes no more steaks, no more pot roast, no more meat loaf or cubed steak. No more caldo or carnitas or even cochinita (technically a white meat but still rather rich), and no more barbecued ribs. Oh red meat how you got me through the hard moments in life as well as got me fat. But that is all in the past as I must not substitute red meat with its avian cousin or cousin from the sea. Veggie patties will work as decent substitute, at least in pretending I am eating a burger but a poor and paltry substitute it will be. Nonetheless it is quality of health I am looking for and if you think about it red meat is most often than not the most expensive of offerings on a menu so on the long run it's also an economic decision.

And with that I will leave all of you tonight. Have a great weekend, a wonderful Easter and don't forget to bring used cell phones, used ink cartridges and stuff to sell at May's yard sale to Monday's meeting!

So I saw a taco truck...

Okay not really but while I was driving to go pay my vehicle registration this morning I heard on the radio about the Food Truck Festival that was going to be held at Santa Anita Park on April 2nd. And by food trucks I'm not just talking about those devilishly delicious but oh so bad for you taco and burrito roach coaches that you find in the alleys and backstreets and industrial areas throughout Los Angeles but also of the newer flavours that have appeared over the last few years. Sushi trucks and nacho trucks, cheesesteak trucks and burger trucks, barbecue trucks and rib trucks, pretty much anything and everything you can imagine will be represented there and boy will it be a truck foodies wetdream come true. And that got me thinking.

No, not about being hungry or food trucks or even betting on the horses but on food, or to be more specific a food festival. Since we have been blessed with a gastrointestinal system that has been declared war upon by our immune system we have the unfortunate need to be far more cautious and aware of what we consume. Nutritionists and dietitians hate us since their carefully crafted and created diet plans are foiled by our inability to eat granola or lettuce or beans or whatever healthy thing they want you to nibble on instead of those chicken nuggets.

And so I began to get an idea. Yeah I know, my ideas tend to lead to more trouble than they are worth but please bear with me. I know that we have been trying to create some sort of large event, an event that will distinguish the OC enough from L.A. so that it could have it's own CCFA chapter. Darrin and Wendy and Allison and Joslynn have been hard at work trying to find a band or a comedian or some sort of act to raise money and show that the OC is capable of handling it's own chapter. And so back to the food festival idea.

What if we held a food festival, but not just any kind of food festival. Forget about the fried Oreos and chili cookoffs and barbecue do or dies, I'm talking about organic, gluten free, community garden/farm, Vegan, Vegetarian and health specialized foods. Still with me? We are fortunate to have plenty of Trader Joes, Fresh & Easy, Sprouts and several other healthier type of grocery stores in the OC, there is also Whole Foods and Wild Oats and countless of mom and pop grocers. Then there are the celebrity cooks and chefs that specialize in this type of cuisine.

Now the questions is, is it feasible? Yes, I know it's kind of, I want to say ironic, that a group that caters to people with GI issues would sponsor such an event but at the same time it makes sense in that you can bring dietary awareness to those who suffer from and IBD and show them that they don't have to change their habits to a water and water diet. And that's why I'm tossing the idea out for you guys to look at and (pardon the pun) digest and see if it's worth doing.

Any and all feedback on this matter would be appreciated, logistically it would require some work and lots and lots of planning, but I don't think that it's a far-fetched or impossible idea. Let me know what you think people.

Upcoming CCFA events

There are two CCFA events coming up soon, these are educational and informative events for those suffering from an IBD and their families and loved ones. The presenters are great, very knowledgeable and know what it feels like to suffer the suffering that we suffer. If you can please try to attend one of the following two events, they may have cookies and donuts!

Understanding Inflammatory Bowel Diseases: What Every Patient Needs to Know.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
1:00 - 3:00 PM
Courtyard Marriott, Riverside, CA

and

The Los Angeles Spring 2011 IBD Patient and Family Education Conference: How to Manage IBD

Saturday, April 16, 2011
8:15 AM - 2:00 PM
Covel Commons Building
Sunset Village, UCLA
Los Angeles, CA.
List of Speakers is five posts down.

For more information on either event please feel free to contact Lindsay Brown at LBrown@ccfa.org, or call (310) 478-4500

Let's talk about food!

Thank you Darrin for the wonderful newsletter you forwarded. And so children today's lesson will be centered on one of our most daunting adversaries, food! Yes we love it for what it tastes like but we hate it for what it does to our bodies yet sadly we need it otherwise we get stuck with a tube and an IV needle. And so ladies and gentlemen I present you with Best foods for those of us with an IBD. Enjoy!

Best foods for IBDs (source-Best Foods for Crohn's Disease)

1. Wild Salmon: Who can resist the succulent taste of the highly nutritious and tasty red meat of the king of freshwater fish, the salmon. It does cost a bit more than your off the shelf can of tuna but it's oh so worth it for the occasional meal as it not only soothes and stimulates your taste buds but also provides a healthy boost of Omega-3 & vitamins A,D,E and K. All highly valuable in fighting inflammation and giving us a healthy boost of much needed vitamins.

2. Yogurt: What else needs to be said? It provides calcium in a safe, easy to handle, easy to digest format and you can even make it tasty by adding additional ingredients to it. Keep in mind that plain yogurt works best as the colorful one, although tasty and fun to look at tends to lack the same amount of nutritious qualities that your body needs.

3. Smooth Nut Butters: I'm talking about peanut butter, almond butter, soy nut butter, not... FOCUS PEOPLE! The dating post was several posting back! Yes smooth nut butters work wonders, they are easy to digest, high in protein and best of all you can spread them on bread, tortillas, pita bread, flat bread, crackers, cookies or eat it with a spoon. They also provide fiber, vitamin E, niacin and calories for those of you struggling to gain weight.

4. Eggs: Yes eggs. I love them although I know that some people are kind of put off by them, but please hear me out! Eggs have iron, and plenty of protein they also have vitamin D and lecithin which is helpful in helping your body absorb vitamins A,D,E and K. But remember everything in moderation as too many eggs can lead to high cholesterol and we have enough problems to have to worry about that as well.

5. Whole Grain Pasta: Now pasta is bad to me, I love it but it's bad to me. However I also love to put stuff in it that may be the reason it's bad to me. Disregarding my own personal experiences with the devilishly heavenly stuff it is a great source of vitamin B. However it also has a good amount of fiber so please eat it, enjoy it but always in moderation.

6. Fresh Lean Beef: Need I say more? Beef is good, unless you have qualms against eating anything with a name that looks kinda cute and adorable on Far Side cartoons. But that aside it tastes good. It's also a great source of iron, calcium and vitamin B-12, minerals and vitamins that us that bleed a lot need a lot more of than our "normal" peers. But once again, in moderation. (I see a theme here.)

7. Potatoes, White and Sweet: Both sweet potatoes and white potatoes are dynamic and versatile foods that are a staple in our diet, whether at breakfast, lunch, or dinner you will probably have one or the other of this wonderful food with you main course, unless the potato is your main meal. Personally it's my number one comfort food. Oh hash browns how I love thee.... But back to the potato. It is also a great source of beta-carotene (sweet potato) and of vitamin C and potassium (potato. Just remember that boiled or baked works best, although fried is sooooooooooo much more tasty... but yes baked or boiled... baked or boiled...

8. Steel-Cut Oats: I like to stay away from anything that says oats since they enjoy to play rugby with my colon, however it is a great source of soluble fiber, slow-release, high-quality carbohydrates and you can put little pieces of apple or other fruits that you can pretend are marshmallows and feel like a kid again. It's a great breakfast food that you can make with water or give it an extra kick using milk, soy milk, rice milk or my favorite, almond milk.

9. Calcium and Vitamin D-Rich Milk: This is a tricky one as many of us cannot digest regular cow milk without the help of lactose pills. Therefore I recommend that you stock up on Lactaid pills or the equivalent if you wish to enjoy a nice cool glass of milk. There is an alternative as lactose free milk is now more readily available than anywhere in almost all major supermarket as well as several smaller ones. If cow's milk doesn't do it for you, lactose free or not, there is also calcium fortified soy, rice and almond milk. Due to malabsorption, calcium absorption and other issues I do recommend that you increase your calcium and vitamin D intake using one of these great avenues, that is unless you like talking a cocktail of supplements each and every morning.

10. Vitamin C-Rich Foods: Once again vitamin C is the key word. Unfortunately we do not absorb the required amount of it due to our GI system throwing a hissy fit and not wanting to play ball with the rest of the body. Therefore it is very important that you get this wonderful vitamin by eating whichever foods are high in it. Vitamin C is also incredibly helpful in aiding the absorption of iron into the body which is a great boon for us anemics out there. However I will add a caveat and say that I disagree with the original author's suggestions. It was stated that citrus fruits, brussel sprouts, broccoli and bell peppers should be sought to aid in this however those may harm some of us while not affect others. So be cautious in regards to fruits and vegetables. I love citrus but sometimes it can bee too much to digest, the solution is get a Juicer! All of the benefit and flavor without any of the seeds and stringy, fiber like stuff that could rub my colon raw. I cook with bell peppers for flavor but I make sure that they are really soft and can be cut with a paper napkin before eating them as that ensures that it would be easier to digest and run through the intestines. As for broccoli, as much as I love it the threat of gas and the pain that it brings upon me is far to great to risk eating more than an accidental nibble.

This list is in now way exhaustive and should only be seen as suggested foods and not as a definitive guideline. Use moderation and do a test run of foods using small portions in order to see how your body reacts to it before trying it. And as always please consult with you physician before making any substantial changes to you diet and please be aware of any and all food allergies you may have.

So you think you have a flare up

You wake up one morning and your gut is hurting, you rush to the bathroom and know that this is the beginning of an all day tribute to the porcelain god. You wonder what you can do, that is other than stock up on magazines, Gatorade and set up an Internet line to your toilet. Here are a few suggestions, keep in mind that every individual is different so something that works for someone may not work for someone else.

1. Dietary:
A light diet may be helpful, broth, jello, decaffeinated teas and Gatorade. Remember you will be losing liquids, minerals and electrolytes that need to be replenished. Even if you think that it's a good idea to avoid food because it may cut down on bowel movements it's not. If anything it can lead to dehydration, mineral deficiency and possible anemia. That doesn't mean that you should order a bucket of KFC friend skins and down it all with a gallon of cola but instead make conscious food choices that will help you see what you can and can't tolerate in order to avoid those foods in the future.

2. Exercise:
I know you want to curl up in bed, on the couch, in the tub, or on the toilet and die but don't. Try to get minimal exercise in order to promote digestion and healing. I'm not talking about running a triathlon, conquering Everest or cycling the Tour de France, but walk around the block, walk to dog, or take care of any low impact chores that may get your mind off the pain in the ass that is a flare up. Trust me it's good for you.

3. Clothing:
Dark clothing, dark underwear, NO WHITES. Because there is nothing more embarrassing than people informing you that you accidentally sat on a 99 cent burrito from Taco Bell. It's bad. I am aware that many of us would rather not leave the home when a flare up occurs but in case you have to, for say an emergency such as saving the world because your PIN number happens to be the code that the alien invaders need to avoid wiping us out, well then dress comfortable, but not in such a fashion that someone may mistake you for an animated pile of laundry.

4. Dating:
Cancel the date. No seriously, cancel. Tell them that your car blew up, that you were abducted by space pirates, that you were drafted to fight the war on bad literature turned into horrible movies, anything to get you out but that will still allow you to have a second chance date. Unless they are aware of your condition and are willing to come over and nurse you to health, in that case then play the sympathy cards. Results may vary.

5. Meds:
Yes we all hate taking them, we all hate the side-effects but even during the worse of flare-ups do not fall into the temptation to self medicate and double your doses hoping it will clear things up. It probably won't work and may instead cause your symptoms too worsen. Take your medications as directed unless told otherwise by your GI. That's your GI and not the guy across the street named Doc X who got his GED in Medicine from Online Diploma Mill U. It doesn't work that way. So take as directed and if things get really, really bad then it's off to the ER for you.

6. "Herbal remedies":
Yes as someone with an IBD you qualify for a card. Yes you live in state where you can get said card and remedies. I am neither for nor against them as they may or may not work in relieving pain and other ailments related to IBDs. But if you choose this path remember to have plenty of light snacking materials around as well as plenty of electrolyte replenishing liquids as the ensuing munchies may give you the desire to eat anything in sight. The liquid replenishment is for the liquid to be lost when your body realized that you just ate everything in sight.

7. Transportation:
If you haven't already try to get a handicapped placard or plate. This will help in case that you have to leave home to buy something. If possible get a driver but that can't always be helped. I know that some will find it strange to get a disabled person placard but it comes in handy in cases where your body needs to go and there is nowhere to park. Trust me on this. It's also helpful at sporting events, crowded malls on Black Friday and at Disneyland. Use it responsibly.

8. Alcohol:
Avoid during a flare. I don't care what the French say, avoid it. It's bad. Trust me on this.

9. Toilet paper:
This is a tricky issue since even the softest most gentle of toilet papers will turn into sandpaper if used at the frequency that it's used during a flare up. Therefore I suggest a combination of baby wipes, soft toilet paper and if possible getting a bidet seat or sprayer for your toilet. Your butt will thank you and that will be more than enough to offset the cost.

10. Friends:
Have them come over and throw a bathroom party. Play games, watch movies and come up with healthy food choices for you. I know that this sounds silly and may work better for women than men but hell guys can throw a sports themed one.

I am aware that when you are flaring you just want to die but all the same we have to try to break away from the anti-social aspects of our disease and conquer it instead of letting it conquer us. We have to own our disease, no matter how hard it is, no matter how daunting it may seem you can do it and live as normal of a life as you want it to be.